Dental floss for panties? I have to say I have shied away from these panties that hijacked their name from the ordinary flip flop. However, I have found myself in need of a pair or two.
Thongs.
They are a necessary part of a wardrobe if you want to wear white pants or don’t want pantie lines, butt..... (haha) they do take some getting used to and perhaps some direction for those of us more challenged in flip flop lingerie!
So, picture with me if you will, (oh no, perhaps don’t picture me, but picture yourself here) taking several pair of jeans into a fitting room. Hoping that one of the millions of pairs of jeans you have will fit just right. Now, I have a strange shape…a little chubby, a little short but not really petite, a little “wanting to look hip” but not “hipster”.
Thongs.
They are a necessary part of a wardrobe if you want to wear white pants or don’t want pantie lines, butt..... (haha) they do take some getting used to and perhaps some direction for those of us more challenged in flip flop lingerie!
So, picture with me if you will, (oh no, perhaps don’t picture me, but picture yourself here) taking several pair of jeans into a fitting room. Hoping that one of the millions of pairs of jeans you have will fit just right. Now, I have a strange shape…a little chubby, a little short but not really petite, a little “wanting to look hip” but not “hipster”.
The first pair was too big!
That is a great way to start this humiliating process. I think I may always start with a pair that is one size too big from now on. The next was too tight in the thighs and too loose in the waist.
The many more after that were either too long or too small or too high waisted.
Then, the clouds parted and a beam of sun came down from heaven and landed on a wonderful pair of Levis. This was my last hope and knowing that God parted the clouds for me, they must be the one. God is into parting things for special occasions!
That is a great way to start this humiliating process. I think I may always start with a pair that is one size too big from now on. The next was too tight in the thighs and too loose in the waist.
The many more after that were either too long or too small or too high waisted.
Then, the clouds parted and a beam of sun came down from heaven and landed on a wonderful pair of Levis. This was my last hope and knowing that God parted the clouds for me, they must be the one. God is into parting things for special occasions!
And.... they FIT!
I was so happy and the best part was that they were only 17.99!
I walked confidentially to the big 3 way mirrors to
see every inch of my backside.
Feeling pretty pleased with how they looked, I twisted and turned to get every view possible. I noticed and wondered what that little yellow string looking thing was all twisted around the security tag that they cement into clothes these days. Remember they were 17.99, totally worthy of a security tag right!
Feeling pretty pleased with how they looked, I twisted and turned to get every view possible. I noticed and wondered what that little yellow string looking thing was all twisted around the security tag that they cement into clothes these days. Remember they were 17.99, totally worthy of a security tag right!
I continued to admire my new found hip hugging perfection and didn’t think twice about the yellow string, until I went back to my ever so private cubicle to disrobe and purchase my perfect pair of jeans.
The disrobing part is where I encountered my first problem.
The yellow stringy thing was the dental floss piece that holds up the panties. This is now twisted tightly around the tag that is firmly in place.
The sweat was starting to bead on my forehead.
I considered ripping the panties but the idea of finishing my errands with ripped undies was a little more than I wanted to think about and there is very little holding them up to begin with!
The yellow stringy thing was the dental floss piece that holds up the panties. This is now twisted tightly around the tag that is firmly in place.
The sweat was starting to bead on my forehead.
I considered ripping the panties but the idea of finishing my errands with ripped undies was a little more than I wanted to think about and there is very little holding them up to begin with!
I thought for a moment about trying to explain it to the
gal at the counter but there were way too many people at the store on a
Monday night.
Rethinking my situation, I realized the tag was the ink filled type. What would I do if I broke the tag and ink squirted
everywhere? They would think I am trying to steal my perfect, cloud-parted pair of
jeans! I would be hauled off to jail with ripped panties and an ink stained
hinny!
Very carefully I managed to twist and turn
my way out of the jeans, no ink stains and all undergarments are intact, just a little stretched out.
Well, my jeans are safely tucked away in my closet, the flip flop panties are lurking in the bottom of my drawer, only be used under strict caution with a close
friend at hand.
I am not sitting in jail with ripped panties or an ink stained hinny! I do however have a new respect for anyone brave enough to wear flip flop lingerie!
I am not sitting in jail with ripped panties or an ink stained hinny! I do however have a new respect for anyone brave enough to wear flip flop lingerie!
this was awesome ;) thx for sharing this experience
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh! I have tears streaming down my face. This is TOO FUNNY! By the way, I totally would have helped you out. I'm THAT kind of friend.
ReplyDeleteChris