The best worst day ever

Having the opportunity to walk alongside hurting people is an honor few get to experience. 

Those who have just had their chest involuntarily torn open, exposing sacared ground. 

Opening up their deep wounds that are so fresh they have moisture still on them. 

Hoping that someone, anyone can erase this intense pain they are coming to grips with.

While befriending pain, we get awarded the awesome responsibility to be trusted to share the agony and realization that life is fragile. 

Metaphorically removing our shoes, we surrender at the throne of God to beg him to make this pain count when we really just want to say, make it better. Realizing that God's answer may not resemble our vision. 

When we are plunged into a tragedy, we become hyper focused on survival. When the waters calm down, the horror of what we just survived sinks in. Requiring a radical dependence on God developing a faith that facilitates trust. 

Wrapped up in the blanket of support for someone on their worst day ever, to make it their best,worst day while providing a layer of compassion for hurting people. 

To soak up like a sponge, their unhappily ever after, only to wring out the tears on their tender, sacred ground. 

Lord, give us the vision to live the legacy that we want left, to set our families up for success with resources to call upon when life hurts. 

Saturate today with memories for tomorrow while you carry us through this journey.

Dress rehearsal for life

Recently hosting our daughter's wedding we of course had a rehearsal the night before the big day. Changed last minute details and removed a few elements that once were so important to the couple.

We practiced walking.

You'd think we could walk without practice right, me too! 50 years of walking and we still need practice!

Apparently we needed the practice though since we walked the aisle several times. Lucky we walked the aisle and not the plank!

We placed the attendants here and then there and then stood back and admired them all.

Then we walked again.

Grandparents, parents, attendants, then the bride and her daddy.
Ok, cue the tears...

Moving right along.

When the big day came we had adjusted, eliminated, fussed, changed and tweaked, not to be confused with twerked all the elements of the day. We added details all along the way so when the time came we walked, we were pros at walking now, and celebrated all the love the two love birds shared.

Life is kinda like a dress rehearsal. 
Big plans are made to get a degree, marry or purchase a home. Those big plans then boil down to the details. We prepare, eliminate, add to or fuss with the specifics. Tweaking or twerking, your choice here and adjust our dreams to our reality. 

My point is this. 

When you want to build your dream home, you don't start with the paint, you start with a blueprint. This took me forever to learn. I always want to start with the end result without taking into consideration the prep. Primer is your friend. Remember this always. Be it, makeup, nail polish or wall paint. Primer. 

Ask anyone 20 years older than you right now if they are where they planned to be 20 years ago. Most people would agree with me that life has a funny way of starting us on a journey going in one direction only to detour with many twists and turns and adjustments requiring an ever changing  perspective on our part.  

We all have the ability to update the blueprint and meet with the original architect, add a new direction or change locations all together. 

Plan it. 
Rehearse it. 
Change it. 
Walk the aisle.

"Don't wait to celebrate the life you have been given, even if it looks different from the one you thought you would have." 
Jay Wolf

You are the writer of your story, but God is the author.  

Girly bugs

Aphids; nasty little creatures that devour full trees in nothing flat. 

Lady bugs; sweet darling little ladies that eat the awful aphids and reproduce faster than what should be humanly possible.

Oh wait, they're not human. 

Good thing. They are amazing how quickly they can get a large aphid problem under control though. 

Perhaps we should employ them for a greater purpose. 

Somehow we need to get them attracted to mosquitoes and flies and slugs but then, they might neglect the aphids. 

No, let's let them keep well fed. 

I need to keep my trees healthy and aphid free. 

Ok, that is enough talk. Look how sweet they are. I'm considering keeping some as pets. 

Keep up the munching little ladies!

The Mother Lode

With mother's day quickly approaching I'm being drawn back to remember all the mother's I know and how they have impacted my life. 
I know many mothers that have found great joy and deep sorrow in the title of motherhood. 

I am thinking of a neighbor I once had that expressed profound sadness every year on mother's day. She had a lovely mother and celebrated her with great pride but the sting of not being a mother herself cut very deep. 
However, she was a mother of sorts. 
Many years ago she gave birth to a son, gave him up for adoption and moved on with life. 

Alone.

No one knew of him, not even her own mother. 
Until he contacted her, reaching for a relationship to know his mother. There must be a deep pull for every person to connect with the women who offered a space in her very own body as your first dwelling place. 

I'm reminded of my aunts. 
They each had qualities that made them so special. 
My Aunt Jo, I loved spending time with her. She was so inclusive, inviting me as a young girl to feel welcome to be with the ladies. At family functions in the 70's I would sit quietly in her mid-century modern home, listening to the ladies talk about life, kids, husbands and so on. I loved to admire their trendy hair styles and dramatic clothes. Classy and eclectic all working together to pull off an amazing look.
None of them worked outside the home if I remember correctly so work was not in the discussion. 
How time's have changed!
Before we left her home she always sent me off with a treasure, a Puka shell necklace from Hawaii or Love's Baby Soft or one of her cast off accessories that I would wear with great pride. 

The mother of my best friend Becky, from elementary school, has a mother I remember being amazed at. Her mother had a tribe of children. 
Literally, like 11. 
I loved spending time with her humongous family. 
Constant playmates at her disposal. Her mama was a saint I am sure. She would gather all these kiddos for snack and mealtime with such ease. She had a constant joy that seemed to radiate from her. I remember thinking I would have a tribe of my own like that one day. Being the youngest, I longed for built in friends close to my age. 

So much for me having a tribe. 
Her tribe of 11, my tribe of 3. 
Perfect for each mama.

My own mama. 
Perfection. 
Loving, tender, strong and wise. 
If only I could squeeze her this Mother's Day. 

This brings me to my own mothering. The best gift I have ever received was the gift of motherhood. My sweet babies that grew up too fast, thank you. Thank you for allowing me to hone my mothering skills, make mistakes, celebrate joys and learn how to perfect this task, only to finally feel like I got this mothering thing down, just to have you grow up, move away and live your life. Just as you should. 

Motherhood; rewarding and challenging at the same time. 

Much like gardening. You work the soil, plant the flowers, water, feed and prune only to find that a pesky little weed decided to plant roots in your well manicured bed.   
 
I would lie if I said I loved every moment of motherhood, even the difficult ones. 
I did not.

But now, looking in the rear view mirror of life, I can see that where I was challenged I was experiencing pruning of my own. Where I was impatient, I was growing in my ability to wait. Where I was losing control, I learned to trust in a power greater than my own. All the skills needed for each chapter of life. 

I've shared many laughs and tears with special women that have left sweet impressions of motherhood upon me.  

 
Celebrate them! 

You, your own or a mom away from mom! 
Without those mother's, none of us would be here, literally, you owe your life to her. 

Literally.